Why Should You Forgive People?

Why Should You Forgive People? One of the biggest mistakes most of us make in our minds about forgiveness is that it somehow lets the "bad guy" off the hook. It doesn't. Forgiveness is simply the healing of your own mind and heart.

Being the kind of person that does not like to forgive anybody may come across as an appealing option for at least two reasons.

1. It makes you feel invulnerable. Not forgiving gives you an aura of invincibility. When you refuse to forgive, you gather strength by humiliating the person you accuse of humiliating you.

The strength you feel from striking back at someone who hurt you may not be entirely illusory. You may force him to think twice about re-injuring you and reduce the frequency with which he tries. Of course, you might inflame the conflict and provoke him into attack again; but your tough, retaliatory stance may also intimidate him and show him who's the boss.

2. It lets you blame others for your own failures. Not Forgiving lets you blame others for your own failures and transfer to them whatever it is you curse in yourself. It helps you ward off the shame and humiliation that come when someone gets too close to the unflattering truth about you.

You conveniently blame the other person for all your troubles, when the problem may be you - your inability to take the initiative, ask for help, or say no. It replaces the emptiness inside you with a surge of elation.

Holding anger, resentment and hatred toward another injures your mind and heart; therefore, it follows that releasing those emotions through forgiveness would bring healing. This is Why You Should Forgive People.