Are you Genuinely Happy?

Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.

So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.

My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”

When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.

I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.

How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.

Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.

Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”

How Coaching can Help you Reach your Goals

When you hear the word “coach”, what comes first into your mind? Do you picture a foortball team with a man/woman shouting out instructions?

Coaching is not only for sports teams; it is now used widely in leadership and management, but why is coaching so popular?

Coaching is one of the six emotional leadership styles proposed by Daniel Goleman. As a leadership style, coaching is used when the members of a group or team are competent and motivated, but do not have an idea of the long-term goals of an organization.

This involves two levels of coaching: team and individual. Team coaching makes members work more effectively together. In a group of individuals, not every person will have nor share the same level of competence and commitment to the goal. A group may be a mix of highly competent and moderately competent members with varying levels of commitment. These differences can often cause friction between the members.

The coach helps the members level their expectations. Also, the coach manages differing perspectives so that the common goal of the team is more important than the personal goals and interests of the team members. In a big organization, leaders need to align the staffs’ personal values and goals with that of the organization so that long-term directions can be pursued.

Individual coaching is an example of situational leadership at work. It aims to mentor one-on-one building up the confidence of members by affirming good performance during regular feedbacks; and increase competence by helping the member assess his/her strengths and weaknesses towards career planning and professional development. Depending on the individual’s level of competence and commitment, a leader may exercise more coaching behavior for the less-experienced members. Usually, this happens in the case of new staff members. The direct supervisor gives more defined tasks and holds regular feedbacks for the new staff, and gradually lessens the amount of coaching, directing, and supporting roles to favor delegating as competence and confidence increase.

Coaching also develops high commitment to common goals. A coaching leader balances the attainment of immediate targets with long-term goals towards the vision of an organization. As mentioned earlier, with the alignment of personal goals with organizational or team goals, personal interests are kept in check. By constantly communicating the vision through formal and informal conversations, the members are inspired and motivated. Setting short-term team goals aligned with organizational goals; and making an action plan to attain these goals can help sustain the increased motivation and commitment to common goals of the members.

Leadership by example is extremely important in coaching. A coach loses credibility when he or she cannot practice what they preaches. This means that the coach should be well organized, highly competent is his or her field, communicates openly and encourages feedback, and has a clear idea of the organization’s vision-mission-goals. If a team member experiences good coaching, he or she is most likely to do the same things when entrusted with formal leadership roles.

Some words of caution though: coaching is just one of the styles of leadership. It can be done in combination with the other five emotional leadership styles depending on the profile of the emerging team. Moreover, coaching as a leadership style requires that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally fit most of the time since it involves two levels of coaching: individual and team. Your members expect you to be the last one to give up or bail out in any situation especially during times of crises. A coaching leader must be conscious that coaching entails investing time on each individual, and on the whole team. Moreover, that the responsibilities are greater since while you are coaching members, you are also developing future coaches as well.

Always Write Down Your Goals

Many people think of their goals in life in their head, but never tell anyone or write anything down.

To qualify as a goal, whatever you want to achieve must be written down. Non-written goals, therefore, are not goals at all. Don't catch yourself saying, "I have goals and I know what they are, so I don't need to write them down." Non-written goals are unclear and nonspecific, with details that tend to change each time you think about them. Putting each goal in writing crystallizes it into a set of fixed details. The clearer the goal, the more easily it can be achieved.

In a notebook or Word, create a page and have it labeled "Goals List" and write down each of your goals, one on each line. Also, create a separate page and label it your “Dream List”. Refer back to the Dreams List you have already made to see if the achievement of each of your goals will help you realize your dreams. If so, you are heading in the right direction. Also review your Dreams List to see if any of your dreams qualify for immediate inclusion on your Goals List. Keep your blueprint someplace handy where you can update your Goals List and refer to it often. When you have accomplished each goal, cross it off the list. Remember, each goal you accomplish takes you one step closer to the life of your dreams.

Success and Self Improvement Audio Books

Leisure Audio Books have recently launched their website containing over 6000 audio books which are available for immediate download on to your MP3 Player or IPod.

They have a good selection of Self Help Audio books which include books on motivation, success, personal growth, time management and interpersonal skills.

Best sellers include:

• The Awakened Mind System by Dr Jeffrey Thomson, which uses pulses of sound combined with a lush ambient soundtrack. As you listen, your own brainwaves begin to reflect the Awakened Mind pattern
• How to Dejunk your Life by Dawna Walter - An inspirational guide to fighting clutter and sorting your space.
• Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell - A look at why major changes in our society so often happen suddenly and unexpectedly.

Visit Leisure Audio books for the full selection.

Don't Worry Be Happy!

Almost everyone have heard the hit single 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' by Bobby McFerrin. The song has a very catchy way of conveying its message of being happy to everyone. Bobby Mcferiin's simple message surely made a lot of people by telling them not to worry.

Living a happy, resilient and optimistic life is wonderful, and is also good for your health. Being happy actually protects you from the stresses of life. Stress is linked to top causes of death such as heart disease, cancer and stroke.

One of the better things ever said is - 'The only thing in life that will always remain the same is change', and in our life we have the power to make the necessary changes if we want to. Even if we find ourselves in an unbearable situation we can always find solace in the knowledge that it too would change.

Social networks or relationships are essential to happiness. People are different, accept people for who or what they are, avoid clashes, constant arguments, and let go of all kinds of resentments. If arguments seem unavoidable still try and make an effort to understand the situation and you might just get along with well with

Happiness is actually found in everyone, increasing it is a way to make a life more wonderful and also more healthy.

To be happy is relatively easy, just decide to be a happy person. Abraham Lincoln observed that most people for most of the time can choose how happy or stressed, how relaxed or troubled, how bright or dull their outlook to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

There are several ways by which you can do this.

Being grateful is a great attitude. We have so much to be thankful for. Thank the taxi driver for bringing you home safely, thank the cook for a wonderful dinner and thank the guy who cleans your windows. Also thank the mailman for bringing you your mails, thank the policeman for making your place safe and thank God for being alive.

News is stressful. Get less of it. Some people just can't start their day without their daily dose of news. Try and think about it, 99% of the news we hear or read is bad news. Starting the day with bad news does not seem to be a sensible thing to do.

A religious connection is also recommended. Being part of a religious group with its singing, sacraments, chanting, prayers and meditations foster inner peace.

Manage your time. Time is invaluable and too important to waste. Time management can be viewed as a list of rules that involves scheduling, setting goals, planning, creating lists of things to do and prioritizing. These are the core basics of time management that should be understood to develop an efficient personal time management skill. These basic skills can be fine tuned further to include the finer points of each skill that can give you that extra reserve to make the results you desire.

Laugh and laugh heartily everyday. Heard a good joke? Tell your friends or family about it. As they also say -'Laughter is the best medicine'.

Express your feelings, affections, friendship and passion to people around you. They will most likely reciprocate your actions. Try not to keep pent up anger of frustrations, this is bad for your health. Instead find ways of expressing them in a way that will not cause more injury or hurt to anyone.

Working hard brings tremendous personal satisfaction. It gives a feeling of being competent in finishing our tasks. Accomplishments are necessary for all of us, they give us a sense of value. Work on things that you feel worthy of your time.

Learning is a joyful exercise. Try and learn something new everyday. Learning also makes us expand and broaden our horizons. And could also give us more opportunities in the future.

Run, jog, walk and do other things that your body was made for. Feel alive.

Avoid exposure to negative elements like loud noises, toxins and hazardous places.

These are the few simple things you can do everyday to be happy.

And always remember the quote from Abraham Lincoln, he says that, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Are you Associating Yourself with Successful People?

The people you associate with - whether on the job or socially - can have a positive or a negative effect on you.

Some people see life in a positive light and are natural motivators. If a positive person asks you how you're doing and you say, "Not well at all. I've had this cold for a week now," their response is something like, "I'm so sorry. I bet you'll be good as new and feeling better in no time!" A negative, demotivating person may respond by saying, "I know what you mean. A cold like that can ruin your whole week. If you're like me, it'll probably take you a whole month to get over it!"

You associate with some people not by choice but simply by circumstance. You can't choose your coworkers, for example; sometimes you have to do the best you can to work with and get along with them as well as you can. But, you don't have to associate yourself with negative people at breaks, lunchtime, or after-work events. Find ways to remain pleasant, but don't spend too much time with those people.

Instead, surround yourself with people who make you feel goodabout yourself, people who notice the positive things instead of the negative. Everyone has said on some occasion, "I just feel inspired; I feel better about myself and my future when I'm around so and-so." In other words, choose to associate with people you want to be more like.

Articles on how to Increase Attention Span

I thought it was about time that I wrote some articles on how to increase attention span.

This may sound like a simple thing because if you want to remember something, you surely just have to pay attention to it. However, the most common reason healthy adults forget is because they don't manage to focus. Just being easily distracted can account for memory lapses no matter what age you are..

Attention is one of the most sensitive aspects of the intellect. This means that it is quite vulnerable to being disrupted. In order to soak up information so we can later remember it, we must be mindful and focus on what we are trying to learn. Sometimes the problem isn't that we forget, but that we don't "get" what we want to remember from the outset.

Does this sound easy to you? It is. But think for a moment of all the things in your daily life that you really don't pay attention to. Consider the following questions about information we encounter every day:

* Where did you park the car the last time you went to the Grocery Store?
* What color is at the bottom of the stoplight?
* What letters, if any, are missing from the telephone dial?
* How many light switches are in your house or apartment?

How did you do? The chances are you don't know the correct answers to some of these questions, even though these are things that you come across, sometimes frequently, over the course of a typical day. Why? Because we are not always mindful of things we do or see every day. Only by focusing our attention can we adequately acquire information and have it later when we need to remember it.

Can we improve our attention? Absolutely. How? Here are two basic habits we can develop to improve attention and maximize memory fitness immediately:

1. Be Aware - If you are aware that you are hearing or seeing something you want to remember, you will be more likely to pay attention to it, to "get" it, and to "have" it later when you want to remember it. Increased awareness of the need to remember will increase your attention toward that information.

Have you ever lost your car in a parking lot? Or forgotten whether you turned off the oven?

Imagine if you had been more aware that you needed to be mindful of where you parked or whether you turned that knob. If only you had thought to yourself, "Okay, I need to pay attention now so I will remember what I'm doing." Being more aware in those situations would have encouraged you to pay closer attention and made it more likely that you would remember that information later.

2. Make the effort - Next, you must try to focus your attention. Being aware that you need to pay attention without making the effort to do so is like sleeping with the unread text book under your pillow the night before final exams. It never worked, did it? Well, the same rule applies here. It isn't enough to know you must be mindful of something you want to remember: You must then do it. So when you park your car at the mall and want to be able to find it a few hours later, simply make the effort to look around and pay attention to where you are. Most likely there are some signs or other landmarks to help you remember where you've parked.

Come back soon for more articles on how to increase attention span.