If money cannot buy happiness and happiness does not come from just one thing, then where does happiness come from? First of all, happiness is not something you find outside of yourself. You cannot go look for happiness and find it somewhere. Nor can you simply just "decide" to be happy regardless of your circumstances. Happiness is more than just a mental state of mind that you can maintain by controlling your focus (although there are some who do believe that). Even though it is true that your thoughts can affect your level of happiness, they are not the only thing that can affect it. True happiness does not come from just one thing, not even just your thoughts. I believe that happiness is a positive state of well-being with many contributing factors. It is something that you grow inside of you.
What are the contributing factors? Amazingly, many of them we do not recognize immediately because our brains are programmed to focus on what will protect us from pain, discomfort, danger and other threats to our survival. We can easily overlook the "grass and flowers" in the field of life because we are too busy checking each area for landmines. We often do not realize how much something means to us until it is gone. Simarly, it is very common for us to be unaware of how much something contributes to our happiness unless it is missing. We often do not realize that the love and support we received from our parents as children including the happy memories, the fun, the birthdays, and everything else that was positive also contributed to our foundational emotional experiences that we are still building on today. But just talk to someone who did not have these things. They have a lot less on which to build in that area, and they usually recognize it.
How can success contribute to our happiness? I had attended a seminar a few years ago that defined the "context of success," and I found it very interesting to notice that the same areas that that were included in the "context of success" were also areas that contribute to our level of happiness. So, success is not just about having a lot of money. Overall success, I learned, is about being successful physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, and in our relationships, our family, and our community. These are also the same areas that many of us take for granted when they are positive. We do not even realize how much they contribute to our happiness in the first place, so it is so easy to mistakenly believe that we will "find happiness" in just the one area where we are deficient. But they all combine together (notice "mental" in the list, so our thoughts are just one area) and all of the areas contribute to our happiness as well.
Another area we cannot overlook besides the mental area is the financial area. Being successful financially does contribute to our overall happiness. But it is just as important to understand that it is an area that does contribute to our happiness as it is to understand that it is not the only area that contributes to it. It is one factor in a group of many contributing factors. You cannot ignore it if you want to find the greatest level of happiness for you, but you cannot completely focus on it and neglect all of the other areas either. The key to this is balance. You do not want to be an Alex Haley who, according to the movie "Roots," was obsessed with finding the history of his ancestors but lost his current family in the process. You also do not want to live your life thinking that financial success has no affect on your happiness because you think your happiness comes only from more meaningful things like your family. Why sell yourself short? Grow your happiness from all of these areas. Pursue financial success and see how it can contribute to your happiness as well. You may find yourself experiencing a greater level of happiness than you ever thought was possible.
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Mary Gersten was a struggling single mother of four screwed over by the legal system who partnered with the most brilliant marketers there are today to help put together the CMPS program where any average person could have a great opportunity to find success on the Internet. Get a copy of our free report, "Discover the 24 Hour 'CMPS' Web Cash Secret," by going to http://www.cmpsmoneysecrets.com
Thursday, 4 September 2008
Friday, 20 June 2008
Stop Self-Defeating And Self-Sabotaging Behavior
8 Tips to Help Stop Self Defeating and Self Sabotaging Behavior
Are you engaged in self-defeating and self-saboatging behavior? Do you tend to end up with a mess when things started out so well? I am a big believer in the idea that every action we take is done for reason.
1. What is your payoff?
What is it that you really get from self-defeating behaviors and self sabotaging attitudes? Is it negative attention? A reason to go back to being miserable and avoiding change? Ask yourself What is REALLY going on here?
2. Avoid situations that trigger extreme emotional reactions.
Most people relapse back into old destructive patterns because of their inability to handle emotional stress. Extreme emotional reactions can provoke a drug or alcohol relapse. If you can't avoid this situation, at least try to get a realistic perspective on it. Ask yourself How important is it really?
3. Take a look at your past.
Just don't get stuck there. Try to identify where your belief system came from. Once you have identified where those defeating attitudes came from, let go of them. It is OK to acknowledge the past, but not to use it as an excuse to continue your behavior into the present.
4. Challenge staying in the victim role.
Again, in recognizing the past, we're not denying that bad things have happened to you. Try reclaiming your personal power by reframing your experiences as a source of strength. Not everyone has gone through what you have and survived. The process of personal growth is about regaining self empowerment.
5. Stop blaming people.
Being the victim and blaming others, results in one particular sneaky, self destructive attitude. That is the attitude of not needing to change. Self improvement is all about change, but, if everything is always somebody else's fault, why do I need to change? In the victim role, it is poor me, look what they have done to me, I couldn't stop it from happening. Therefore, I will be a perpetual victim and take no action.
6. First thought wrong.
Man, do I hate this one. People who have a habit of self sabotaging have got to come to accept that they are never upset for the reasons that first come to mind. First thought wrong. We need to look at the underlying issues, again, ask the question 'Whats really going on here?' Sometimes we will take those negative thoughts and try to make them come true by doing something really destructive. We create a self-fulfilling prophesy.
7. We need to change the thoughts we have about ourselves.
Stop the negative self talk. Start thoroughly and rigorously questioning where your beliefs and perceptions are coming from. Don't judge yourself as you're doing this, become willing to let go of those negative thoughts. Stop defending your right to be wrong.
8. Are you done suffering yet?
Just as this question is a key motivator to move into personal change and regain your self esteem, this question is a prime motivator to start changing our self-defeating attitudes and actions. Nothing changes if nothing changes. How much longer are you willing to keep stepping on your own feet, tripping and falling down? Maybe, just maybe, it's time to stop the pain.
Addictive relationships are no fun, but sometimes a fact of life. Are your life relationships not going well? The good news is at least you are looking for some information and help on healing those dysfunctional relationships. Visit: http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/
Saturday, 26 January 2008
Poem on Definition of Success
If you are looking for a poem on definition of success here is a good one:
Success - by Ralph Waldo Emerson
To laugh often and much
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends
To appreciate beauty
To find the best in others
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived
This is to have succeeded.
Saturday, 5 January 2008
Get in to the Habit of Planning Your Day
Do you hinder time management skills by avoiding setting daily goals on paper? Do you easily find excuses why planning your day each morning will not help your day be more effective? Many people feel that by listing all of the things that they have to do, or wish to do each day, will only make them feel “tied down” and “overwhelmed”.
Nobody enjoys the thought of facing an overwhelming list of tasks to do. However, the solution is not to avoid planning, but rather to make your plans meaningful and effective. This way your plans will give you more freedom instead of making you feel like a slave to your list.
Here are a few tips to help you plan your day:
1. Avoid using small pads and make your list on a bigger sheet. With plenty of room there will be no reason to leave anything off of your list.
2. Write everything down. Even if it seems so small and unrelated. If it must be done, then get it on your list!
3. Cross off completed tasks each time they are finished.
4. Prioritize your list from the most important to least important.
5. Schedule the most important items to be done first thing in the morning each day.
6. Understand that this list is not something that has to be done in one day. Your list may be something that can cover the entire week or even the entire month.
Be flexible with your plan and do not feel that you absolutely must spend every morning planning your day and visualizing success. Start out with two days per week, then move up. View your daily plan as the ticket to your success. It is not a foe, but rather a friend. Know that planning is a tool that keeps you in control, and control equal freedom!
Nobody enjoys the thought of facing an overwhelming list of tasks to do. However, the solution is not to avoid planning, but rather to make your plans meaningful and effective. This way your plans will give you more freedom instead of making you feel like a slave to your list.
Here are a few tips to help you plan your day:
1. Avoid using small pads and make your list on a bigger sheet. With plenty of room there will be no reason to leave anything off of your list.
2. Write everything down. Even if it seems so small and unrelated. If it must be done, then get it on your list!
3. Cross off completed tasks each time they are finished.
4. Prioritize your list from the most important to least important.
5. Schedule the most important items to be done first thing in the morning each day.
6. Understand that this list is not something that has to be done in one day. Your list may be something that can cover the entire week or even the entire month.
Be flexible with your plan and do not feel that you absolutely must spend every morning planning your day and visualizing success. Start out with two days per week, then move up. View your daily plan as the ticket to your success. It is not a foe, but rather a friend. Know that planning is a tool that keeps you in control, and control equal freedom!
Friday, 14 December 2007
7 Inspirational Quotes from Woody Allen
1) "Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." It sounds good to me, I mean the practicality of all things does involve money but it doesn't have to take an arm and a leg to get it.
2) "I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government." 'Nuff said.
3) "There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" This happens to be one of the classic ones. I mean the issue about life's little problems isn't all that bad, until 'he' shows up. Sure, relationships can get complicated, or does have its complications that probably any author about relationships is bound to discover it soon. We follow what our heart desires, unless you're talking about the heart as in the heart that pump blood throughout your body.
4) "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions." And if you want more, just keep on asking!
5) "I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." If it rains, it pours.
6) "If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans." At least he doesn't smite us with lightning, and I'm thankful for that. And despite of what may happen to all of us in the next ten, twenty, or even thirty years, I guess we all have to see things in a different kind of light and not just perspective. I can't seem to imagine life without any piece of wisdom that could guide us. Whether we're religious or not, it takes more courage to accept your fears and learn how to deal with them is all that matters when it comes to even just getting along.
And to sum things up, here is the last nugget of wisdom to go by… however, whenever, and wherever we may be.
7) "The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have."
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Tips for Remembering a Speech
Probably the worst thing you can do when preparing for a speech or a presentation is to try to memorize the speech word for word. Memorizing the speech it isn't really necessary. The assumption is that if you've been asked to deliver a speech on a particular subject, you will know something about that subject.
Memorizing the speech word for word also has a disadvantage - when you deliver it, it can sound memorized. And, finally, when you memorize a speech word for word, you're taking the chance of fumbling over one word you can't remember.
Reading a speech doesn't work either, because you want to hold the group's attention, and reading to them is likely to put them to sleep. Even if you occasionally look up at your audience as you read, it won't help much.
The best way to deliver a speech is to talk it in your own words, thought for thought. A speech is a sequence of thoughts; if the thoughts are out of sequence, the speech won't make much sense. First, write out or type your speech, including all the things you want to say about all the ideas you think are important. Read it over to get the gist of it. Now for that "other idea": Select a Key Word from each thought that will remind you of the entire thought.
This is easier to do than it might seem. There is rarely a thought, whether it is to be expressed in one sentence or two paragraphs, that cannot be brought to mind by one word or phrase. It is these Key Words (or Key Thoughts) that you Link - at which point you have the speech memorized thought for thought.
Memorizing the speech word for word also has a disadvantage - when you deliver it, it can sound memorized. And, finally, when you memorize a speech word for word, you're taking the chance of fumbling over one word you can't remember.
Reading a speech doesn't work either, because you want to hold the group's attention, and reading to them is likely to put them to sleep. Even if you occasionally look up at your audience as you read, it won't help much.
The best way to deliver a speech is to talk it in your own words, thought for thought. A speech is a sequence of thoughts; if the thoughts are out of sequence, the speech won't make much sense. First, write out or type your speech, including all the things you want to say about all the ideas you think are important. Read it over to get the gist of it. Now for that "other idea": Select a Key Word from each thought that will remind you of the entire thought.
This is easier to do than it might seem. There is rarely a thought, whether it is to be expressed in one sentence or two paragraphs, that cannot be brought to mind by one word or phrase. It is these Key Words (or Key Thoughts) that you Link - at which point you have the speech memorized thought for thought.
Monday, 15 October 2007
How to Develop Your Intuition
Have you ever had one of these experiences where all of a sudden you just had this huge hunch that something is about to happen, and then to your surprise, that intuition became reality?
When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.
Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.
Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."
On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.
They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.
Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is?
First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.
With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:
1. Hypnosis
Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.
2. Meditation
Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.
3. Think positive!
A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.
4. Just let go.
What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.
5. Never expect.
After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.
6. Believe in your first impressions.
When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.
7. Stay happy!
See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.
Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.
When you feel strongly about something without logical basis to it, that's called intuition. It comes in three impressions: clairvoyance or "the third eye", sensing clearly and feeling through listening.
Clairvoyance is when your eye goes beyond what it can see. This is when you know what is happening somewhere.
Sensing clearly is basically what we refer to as "hunch" or "gut feel." This is the time when you are overwhelmed with a feeling and you can't explain it and all you can say is "I just know."
On the other hand, feeling through listening or clairaudience is being able to "listen" between the lines. Intuition also happens at times when a certain sound, whatever it is - be it a car's honk or a bird's twitting - ushers in an intense feeling.
They say only a number of people are gifted with intuition. Astrologers even insist that people born under the Scorpio or Pisces signs are naturally intuitive it almost borders on E.S.P. But studies have been sprouting left and right that proclaim that anyone can develop intuition.
Why the need to develop intuition, you ask? Why not let your emotional and psychological state as it is?
First and foremost, intuition promotes good communication. It makes you more sensitive to the people around you; it often keeps you from hurting those you love because you are intuitive enough to understand them. Intuition also makes you far more creative than ever. Intuition means releasing more creative juices for any means of expression. Lastly, intuition has a healing power. This healing power is not in the physical sense, but in delving deep into your soul to eradicate some negative energy buried in it.
With that being said, are you ready to develop your intuition? Here are some ways to unlock this gift:
1. Hypnosis
Oh yes, get yourself hypnotized. Hypnosis is not limited to watching a pendulum move back and forth. Perform self-hypnosis or you can avail of hypnotic programs that can strengthen your intuition.
2. Meditation
Meditating means finding peace in yourself. If your mind and heart are cluttered with too many baggage and hurt, you wouldn't be able to quiet down that part of you that could eventually initiate intuition. There are so many ways to meditate: take a yoga class, or just simply practice some breathing that could bring you straight to Zen.
3. Think positive!
A worry-free, fear-free state could do so much to improve your intuitive ability. By staying positive, you attract good energy that would be able to easily recognize imminent feelings and events.
4. Just let go.
What does this mean? If you are on the brink of making a huge decision, let go of all the inhibitions and head to a quiet place where you could find out where the letting go has brought you. Sometimes you just have to listen to the voice within you, and that voice wouldn't come out unless you let go.
5. Never expect.
After letting go of the inhibitions and all those things that stop you from thinking and feeling clearly, never expect for an answer right away. Never expect that the "hunch" would fall on your lap immediately. Give it a little time then you'd just get surprised that -- wham! -- now you have your answer.
6. Believe in your first impressions.
When you see someone for the first time and think that he is a bit too arrogant for your taste, chances are that impression actually holds true. Most of the time, first impressions are brought by intuition.
7. Stay happy!
See? All you need to be intuitive is to stay happy! Happiness attracts immense power and such power includes intuition. In tapping your intuition, your motivation must be happiness and contentment. Given that premise, intuition will fall to you easily.
Intuition is helpful, because sometimes it leads you to something that cannot be achieved otherwise. A lot of lives have been saved by intuition alone. Decisions are easier done if armed by this gift. Develop intuition now and reap benefits you have never imagined.
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