Humans are liable to experience a variety of afflictions, but they are commonly endowed with a capacity for happiness and respectability. There is no guarantee, however, that they will exercise this capacity at all times and to the maximum, whatever happens. Depression and shame remain a possibility, which increases with the severity of their afflictions and the difficulty of living up to the values that are necessary for their happiness and respectability: courage, efficiency, wisdom, and nobility.
Living up to these values is never easy, even under extremely favorable circumstances. It requires an effort of will. To make or not to make this effort is the question, central to the human existence. This question is difficult in proportion to the weight of suffering that bears on humans, while their dignity hangs in the balance. The more burdensome this weight, the more tempting it is for them to take the easy way out. The fear of losing their dignity, however, is a strong deterrent. There is no greater loss than that of dignity, save the loss of life itself. Yet, the easy way out is a very powerful temptation in extremely unfavorable circumstances. Giving up instead of living up to the values mentioned above is then deplorable but understandable. Excruciating circumstances are extenuating ones.
Amazingly enough, despite the burden of suffering that is oppressive to many, the incidence of moral collapse – in the form of errant ways like carelessness, vagrancy, and crime, often accompanied by alcohol or drug abuse to fuddle the conscience – is small in comparison with the incidence of worthy behavior. Furthermore, a moral collapse is remediable, except when the person concerned shows an inveterate or congenital weakness, or a mental illness that is beyond cure. On the whole, dignity can be lost and regained.
As for those who resist quitting the struggle for worthiness, they rarely do their best. In many instances their spirit is tainted with some degree of indulgence in laziness, cowardliness, ineffectiveness, foolishness, selfishness, and meanness. It has the grayness of dawn. Even those who shine like a late morning sun have a shadow of imperfection at their heels. In short, humanity has yet to fulfill its potential. While there is much courage, efficiency, wisdom, and nobility in the world, much happiness and respectability, there could be a whole lot more. The key to this rise is an effort of will.
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Happiness. Show all posts
Tuesday, 28 June 2011
Friday, 27 May 2011
What is Happiness?
Throughout history happiness has been a central and controversial topic, as it embraces our entire being that forever aspires to it in numerous and often contradictory ways. After a quarter century of relentless investigation, here is what I have to say about it.
Having said this, even this sort of happiness is a product of positive thinking and positive action, with good fortune lending a helping hand. In short, it is a product of will in relatively favorable circumstances. But isn't it peculiar to imply that happiness can be of one sort or another? Are there not simply happiness and unhappiness? I think not. The sort of happiness that the sage talks about is compatible with misfortune. It is preeminently a doing from within – while without, the only prerequisite for it is that the sage be alive and capable of thought. It is a feeling of serenity, of being at peace with his situation and his conscience, as a well-adjusted and fully committed servant of life, of humanity, of God as he sees them.
However conscious he is of the subjectiveness – i.e., the individual limitations and hence the imperfection – of his view, he does live by it with utmost faithfulness, if also with a willingness to reevaluate it critically when he catches himself out in a misstep. His wisdom is forever a work in progress; it is always laced with some form of foolishness, which leaves him open to ridicule. Humility and compassion, plus humor are therefore qualities that he cultivates. He mocks and forgives himself, and above all strives to improve. He shows no complacency, but an acceptance of his humanness that he is intent on bringing to the highest possible degree of truth and nobility. And this delicate blend of resignation and struggle alone – in any situation, favorable or not – is indeed the secret of his happiness, which admittedly is a dry manner of joy that fills the mind rather than the heart.
It follows that this happiness leaves something to be desired: happiness in the fullest sense of the word (a state of fulfillment, when everything is going our way, in terms of results as well as efforts), which is a joy, ever so sweet, that fills both the mind and the heart. When the sage experiences this supreme happiness, he rightly feels blessed, and knows how precarious it is. Furthermore, he accepts this precariousness, or the fact that suffering and ultimately death loom ahead. Only battles are won in the war of life that will inevitably – despite every valiant effort to prevail – end in defeat.
Some will say that happiness in its so-called fullest sense leaves something more to be desired: the power to make this happiness infinite: immeasurably great and unlimited in duration. Among them, some will choose the path of faith, which allegedly leads to a heavenly afterlife, whereas some will choose the path of reason, which admits of no rosy belief based on wishful thinking and unbridled trust. This path leads nowhere as far as the beyond is concerned, or rather somewhere that is unknown – presumably so different from what is known that it totally exceeds our ability to conceive of its nature.
I count among these proponents of reason, these infidels, to whom the only source of meaning is not a paradisiacal destination, whose existence is supported by no credible evidence, but the journey itself, a rugged and uphill journey to be sure, with an abundance of twists and turns, some of which are propitious, others not. This journey is well worth the trouble, in my opinion. It is so independently of the above-mentioned destination, which people are free to pursue blindly or regard with skepticism (and with detachment to boot, in the best case scenario). It is all about the dignity of living and loving and the pleasure of succeeding in these difficult assignments. From this perspective, the purpose of life is none other than life itself, in partnership with our fellow creatures; and happiness is made possible – within certain limits – by our striving to achieve this worthy, albeit humble purpose.
The limits imposed upon worldly happiness may initially stick in our craw, but after due consideration, as we realize that life without these limits would be death, we accept them, and better still we welcome them. Life is by definition a dynamic state that presupposes a perpetual tension between desires and their satisfaction. Render this satisfaction absolute, you resolve this tension and consequently reduce life to nothing; i.e., something as inert as a stone. And this nothing – this inert something – is death, as I just pointed out. Not a brilliant prospect in the eyes of a life lover!
Having said this, even this sort of happiness is a product of positive thinking and positive action, with good fortune lending a helping hand. In short, it is a product of will in relatively favorable circumstances. But isn't it peculiar to imply that happiness can be of one sort or another? Are there not simply happiness and unhappiness? I think not. The sort of happiness that the sage talks about is compatible with misfortune. It is preeminently a doing from within – while without, the only prerequisite for it is that the sage be alive and capable of thought. It is a feeling of serenity, of being at peace with his situation and his conscience, as a well-adjusted and fully committed servant of life, of humanity, of God as he sees them.
However conscious he is of the subjectiveness – i.e., the individual limitations and hence the imperfection – of his view, he does live by it with utmost faithfulness, if also with a willingness to reevaluate it critically when he catches himself out in a misstep. His wisdom is forever a work in progress; it is always laced with some form of foolishness, which leaves him open to ridicule. Humility and compassion, plus humor are therefore qualities that he cultivates. He mocks and forgives himself, and above all strives to improve. He shows no complacency, but an acceptance of his humanness that he is intent on bringing to the highest possible degree of truth and nobility. And this delicate blend of resignation and struggle alone – in any situation, favorable or not – is indeed the secret of his happiness, which admittedly is a dry manner of joy that fills the mind rather than the heart.
It follows that this happiness leaves something to be desired: happiness in the fullest sense of the word (a state of fulfillment, when everything is going our way, in terms of results as well as efforts), which is a joy, ever so sweet, that fills both the mind and the heart. When the sage experiences this supreme happiness, he rightly feels blessed, and knows how precarious it is. Furthermore, he accepts this precariousness, or the fact that suffering and ultimately death loom ahead. Only battles are won in the war of life that will inevitably – despite every valiant effort to prevail – end in defeat.
Some will say that happiness in its so-called fullest sense leaves something more to be desired: the power to make this happiness infinite: immeasurably great and unlimited in duration. Among them, some will choose the path of faith, which allegedly leads to a heavenly afterlife, whereas some will choose the path of reason, which admits of no rosy belief based on wishful thinking and unbridled trust. This path leads nowhere as far as the beyond is concerned, or rather somewhere that is unknown – presumably so different from what is known that it totally exceeds our ability to conceive of its nature.
I count among these proponents of reason, these infidels, to whom the only source of meaning is not a paradisiacal destination, whose existence is supported by no credible evidence, but the journey itself, a rugged and uphill journey to be sure, with an abundance of twists and turns, some of which are propitious, others not. This journey is well worth the trouble, in my opinion. It is so independently of the above-mentioned destination, which people are free to pursue blindly or regard with skepticism (and with detachment to boot, in the best case scenario). It is all about the dignity of living and loving and the pleasure of succeeding in these difficult assignments. From this perspective, the purpose of life is none other than life itself, in partnership with our fellow creatures; and happiness is made possible – within certain limits – by our striving to achieve this worthy, albeit humble purpose.
The limits imposed upon worldly happiness may initially stick in our craw, but after due consideration, as we realize that life without these limits would be death, we accept them, and better still we welcome them. Life is by definition a dynamic state that presupposes a perpetual tension between desires and their satisfaction. Render this satisfaction absolute, you resolve this tension and consequently reduce life to nothing; i.e., something as inert as a stone. And this nothing – this inert something – is death, as I just pointed out. Not a brilliant prospect in the eyes of a life lover!
Thursday, 4 September 2008
How Success Can Contribute to Happiness
If money cannot buy happiness and happiness does not come from just one thing, then where does happiness come from? First of all, happiness is not something you find outside of yourself. You cannot go look for happiness and find it somewhere. Nor can you simply just "decide" to be happy regardless of your circumstances. Happiness is more than just a mental state of mind that you can maintain by controlling your focus (although there are some who do believe that). Even though it is true that your thoughts can affect your level of happiness, they are not the only thing that can affect it. True happiness does not come from just one thing, not even just your thoughts. I believe that happiness is a positive state of well-being with many contributing factors. It is something that you grow inside of you.
What are the contributing factors? Amazingly, many of them we do not recognize immediately because our brains are programmed to focus on what will protect us from pain, discomfort, danger and other threats to our survival. We can easily overlook the "grass and flowers" in the field of life because we are too busy checking each area for landmines. We often do not realize how much something means to us until it is gone. Simarly, it is very common for us to be unaware of how much something contributes to our happiness unless it is missing. We often do not realize that the love and support we received from our parents as children including the happy memories, the fun, the birthdays, and everything else that was positive also contributed to our foundational emotional experiences that we are still building on today. But just talk to someone who did not have these things. They have a lot less on which to build in that area, and they usually recognize it.
How can success contribute to our happiness? I had attended a seminar a few years ago that defined the "context of success," and I found it very interesting to notice that the same areas that that were included in the "context of success" were also areas that contribute to our level of happiness. So, success is not just about having a lot of money. Overall success, I learned, is about being successful physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, and in our relationships, our family, and our community. These are also the same areas that many of us take for granted when they are positive. We do not even realize how much they contribute to our happiness in the first place, so it is so easy to mistakenly believe that we will "find happiness" in just the one area where we are deficient. But they all combine together (notice "mental" in the list, so our thoughts are just one area) and all of the areas contribute to our happiness as well.
Another area we cannot overlook besides the mental area is the financial area. Being successful financially does contribute to our overall happiness. But it is just as important to understand that it is an area that does contribute to our happiness as it is to understand that it is not the only area that contributes to it. It is one factor in a group of many contributing factors. You cannot ignore it if you want to find the greatest level of happiness for you, but you cannot completely focus on it and neglect all of the other areas either. The key to this is balance. You do not want to be an Alex Haley who, according to the movie "Roots," was obsessed with finding the history of his ancestors but lost his current family in the process. You also do not want to live your life thinking that financial success has no affect on your happiness because you think your happiness comes only from more meaningful things like your family. Why sell yourself short? Grow your happiness from all of these areas. Pursue financial success and see how it can contribute to your happiness as well. You may find yourself experiencing a greater level of happiness than you ever thought was possible.
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Mary Gersten was a struggling single mother of four screwed over by the legal system who partnered with the most brilliant marketers there are today to help put together the CMPS program where any average person could have a great opportunity to find success on the Internet. Get a copy of our free report, "Discover the 24 Hour 'CMPS' Web Cash Secret," by going to http://www.cmpsmoneysecrets.com
What are the contributing factors? Amazingly, many of them we do not recognize immediately because our brains are programmed to focus on what will protect us from pain, discomfort, danger and other threats to our survival. We can easily overlook the "grass and flowers" in the field of life because we are too busy checking each area for landmines. We often do not realize how much something means to us until it is gone. Simarly, it is very common for us to be unaware of how much something contributes to our happiness unless it is missing. We often do not realize that the love and support we received from our parents as children including the happy memories, the fun, the birthdays, and everything else that was positive also contributed to our foundational emotional experiences that we are still building on today. But just talk to someone who did not have these things. They have a lot less on which to build in that area, and they usually recognize it.
How can success contribute to our happiness? I had attended a seminar a few years ago that defined the "context of success," and I found it very interesting to notice that the same areas that that were included in the "context of success" were also areas that contribute to our level of happiness. So, success is not just about having a lot of money. Overall success, I learned, is about being successful physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, financially, and in our relationships, our family, and our community. These are also the same areas that many of us take for granted when they are positive. We do not even realize how much they contribute to our happiness in the first place, so it is so easy to mistakenly believe that we will "find happiness" in just the one area where we are deficient. But they all combine together (notice "mental" in the list, so our thoughts are just one area) and all of the areas contribute to our happiness as well.
Another area we cannot overlook besides the mental area is the financial area. Being successful financially does contribute to our overall happiness. But it is just as important to understand that it is an area that does contribute to our happiness as it is to understand that it is not the only area that contributes to it. It is one factor in a group of many contributing factors. You cannot ignore it if you want to find the greatest level of happiness for you, but you cannot completely focus on it and neglect all of the other areas either. The key to this is balance. You do not want to be an Alex Haley who, according to the movie "Roots," was obsessed with finding the history of his ancestors but lost his current family in the process. You also do not want to live your life thinking that financial success has no affect on your happiness because you think your happiness comes only from more meaningful things like your family. Why sell yourself short? Grow your happiness from all of these areas. Pursue financial success and see how it can contribute to your happiness as well. You may find yourself experiencing a greater level of happiness than you ever thought was possible.
------------------------
Mary Gersten was a struggling single mother of four screwed over by the legal system who partnered with the most brilliant marketers there are today to help put together the CMPS program where any average person could have a great opportunity to find success on the Internet. Get a copy of our free report, "Discover the 24 Hour 'CMPS' Web Cash Secret," by going to http://www.cmpsmoneysecrets.com
Thursday, 9 August 2007
Are you Genuinely Happy?
Life isn’t the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so adorably sweet? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?” Then I pause and observed for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they start to work on a place called ‘self’.
So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.
My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.
Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”
When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.
I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.
How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.
Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.
Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.
When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.
Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”
So, how does one become genuinely happy? Step 1 is to love yourself.
My theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.” To love oneself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie a great ounce of courage to be able to discover ways on how to improve your repertoire to recover from our mistakes.
Genuine happiness also pertains to contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the question “how to be genuinely happy.”
When we discover a small start somewhere from within, that small start will eventually lead to something else, and to something else. But if you keep questioning life lit it has never done you any good, you will never be able to find genuine happiness.
I believe that life is about finding out about right and wrong, trying and failing, wining and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life has become as abundant and necessary as air. But this should not hinder us from becoming happy.
How to be genuinely happy in spite all these? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, fail on board exams and trying again, life gives you equivalent points for that.
Imagine life as a big score board like those which are used in the NFLs. Every time you take a step forward, you make scoring points. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”, instead of looking at it all blank and murmur “Geez, I didn’t even hit a score today. I wish I had the guts to try out. We could have won!” and then walk away.
Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest Formula 1 car, nor getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest 13th month pay, or beating the sales quota. Sometimes, the most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or not even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy? Every one has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching as much best selling books as possible. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success. So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t have to have the best things in this world. Its about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling your self “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power to persevere that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.
When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”.For as long as you know how to accept others, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love ten folds back.
Again, throw me that same question “how to become genuinely happy?”. I’ll refer you to a friend of mine who strongly quoted- “Most of us know that laughter is the best medicine to life’s aches and pain. But most of us don’t know that the best kind of laughter is laughter over self. Coz then you don’t just become happy… you become free.”
Sunday, 8 April 2007
Smiling can make you Happy
Generally speaking, the first thing you notice when you meet a person is the smile - or absence of a smile - on his or her face. Very few things influence for the good and give more encouragement than a sincere smile. English essayist Joseph Addison said, "What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. They are but trifles, to be sure, but, scattered along life's pathway, the good they do is inconceivable."
Your smile can motivate the people who see it, and the smiles of others can motivate you. Your own smile can motivate you, too, and not just when you see it in a mirror. Put a smile on your face, even when you don't feel like smiling, and pretty soon that smile seeps inside and cheers you up. In radio broadcasting classes, students are told to smile when they talk into the microphone, even though the listeners can't see that smile, because talking with a smile on your face makes you sound more friendly and warm. Listeners can hear you smile.
Try deliberately putting a smile on your face, and you'll see. You may feel at first as though your smile is forced, but as people react favorably to your cheerful demeanor, their manner puts you in a good mood, and I think you'll find that your cheerful act becomes genuine.
Your smile can motivate the people who see it, and the smiles of others can motivate you. Your own smile can motivate you, too, and not just when you see it in a mirror. Put a smile on your face, even when you don't feel like smiling, and pretty soon that smile seeps inside and cheers you up. In radio broadcasting classes, students are told to smile when they talk into the microphone, even though the listeners can't see that smile, because talking with a smile on your face makes you sound more friendly and warm. Listeners can hear you smile.
Try deliberately putting a smile on your face, and you'll see. You may feel at first as though your smile is forced, but as people react favorably to your cheerful demeanor, their manner puts you in a good mood, and I think you'll find that your cheerful act becomes genuine.
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